How often in the busyness of your morning rush or family dinner do you skip over saying grace? When that happens, do you appreciate the meal or is it just a task to be completed so you can move onto other tasks to complete? Do your children thank you for providing the meal or are they out of the practice of appreciating the role others play in providing food for them? Have you been too busy to pause and offer a blessing over the food or do you not know how? I’ve compiled this post – saying grace: a guide to praying your meal together as a family to help you know the how’s and what’s of mealtime prayers.
A common form of saying grace is saying a prayer. For this purpose, I will use praying, saying a prayer, blessing your food, meal-time prayer and saying grace all interchangeably. If you don’t believe in God, don’t stop reading. There are still so many benefits to the act of saying grace before family mealtimes (even if you’re not acknowledging God). Or you can go here to see some alternative non-religious ways to express gratitude for your food.
start praying over your food today
On the days you are determined enough and blessed to gather your family (or some of your family) at one place and one time for a family meal, make sure you start that time together off right – by saying grace! You may or may not have grown up saying grace and may be wondering why you should say grace but there are so many blessings of praying as a family over your food.
If you have never had a mealtime prayer as part of your family routine, today is a great day to start. Will it take some getting used to? Yes! Will it seem awkward at times? Probably! Will kids knowingly rebel or forget and begin eating? Most likely! But as you continue your efforts to say grace together as a family, it will become a normal part of your family dinner routine and I hope a sweet time that you all look forward to. Need a little more nudging? Read my 3 favorite reasons to say grace here and then let’s get going. Of if you’re really hesitating, read my 7 benefits of saying grace here. Surely you’re convinced by now but if not, there’s only one thing left to do. You have to try it to find out for yourself.
what is saying grace?
According to Wikipedia, “A grace is a short prayer or thankful phrase said before or after eating.”
It comes from the latin gratiarum actio which is translated as an expression of gratitude.
A common form of saying grace is saying a prayer or reciting a short poem or scripture verse.
where to start
There are three things to decide before you begin praying over your meals together as a family. If you are the sole adult in your home, these can be executive decisions, meaning you just decide or you and your spouse decide. I’m always a fan of getting buy-in from kids and teenagers, so counsel together with them over these changes. They always have plenty of opinions.
Where do you start? Start by making some decisions.
- Who will be saying grace
- What type of prayer you will say
- Expectations during the prayer
who will say grace
This will help determine what type of prayers you will be saying.
Who in your home is willing and able to say grace?
In our house, we rotate so each person gets a chance to pray and to be the voice for our family. As you can imagine, with individuals saying the prayer, the prayers are varied in length and word. You can choose to have the prayer rotate in your home or one person can always say the prayer or a couple people take turns saying the prayer or you can all recite a prayer together.
types of prayers for saying grace
There are endless types of prayers for saying grace. Your quest (sounds noble and like a challenge, right?) is to find the one or ones that are best suited for your family at this time. While there are many types and forms of prayers, I’ve simplified it into three options – speak from your heart, recite a short prayer poem, or recite a scripture.
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Speak from your heart for saying grace
This is the type of prayer we say in our family. We teach our kids to pray when they are young using a simple formula. Sometimes we refer to it as a prayer sandwich. The top and bottom are set but the kids decide how many and what type of things to say in between. If you’re not used to praying from your heart or aren’t comfortable praying from your heart, use these examples and prompts to help. You can also write your prayer ahead of time and just read it at the dinner table.
Top Bread : Greet the Lord
Thank the Lord
Tell the Lord
Ask the Lord
Bottom Bread : End in the name of Christ
A few more points on a prayer from the heart. Because this is a mealtime prayer, we try to remind our little people especially to give thanks for the food and ask the Lord to bless it. We’ve chosen to teach our kids to use “thee,” thy,” and “thou” as a way to help our kids remember who they are speaking to and to show respect and adoration through our prayers. But you can easily substitute “you” and “yours” instead.
2. Recite a short prayer poem for saying grace
This is a great option if you’ve decided you want to say the prayer all together. There are many, many prayer poems to choose from. A fun activity would be to come up with a special prayer poem that you write as a family.
3. Recite a scripture for saying grace
If you prefer reciting a scripture from the Bible for your mealtime blessing, try one of these.
expectations during the prayer
After you decide who is saying the prayer and what type of prayer will be said, make sure you also decide what the expectations are during the prayer.
For me, the biggest one is to show respect by not speaking or being distracting. In an ideal world, everyone participates in the prayer by a show of reverence. In our home showing reverence looks like bowing your head, folding your arms or hands, closing your eyes and being still. At your home, it might look totally different. Decide what is doable and best for your family using the following questions:
- Will your eyes be open or shut?
- Do we want to bow our heads?
- Should we hold hands while we pray?
- If no, what will we do with our hands?
- Will we kneel or just stay seated at the table?
- Is is appropriate to comment or speak during the prayer?
- How will that be handled or will it be too disruptive?
what next?
Hooray if you’re to the point that you’ve determined you want to make saying grace a regular part of your dinner routine! And if you’ve decided who will say the prayer, what type of prayer will be said and the expectations during the prayer. The last thing to do is to start. Saying grace or praying together as a family may take time to seem normal. Play around with different ways of saying grace until you adapt it to your family. And don’t lose heart, just because something is awkward at first doesn’t meant it isn’t worth it. Prayer is also very personal. Be mindful that you or others are not critical of the prayer.
I’m sure the Lord is pleased to hear from us in any form or fashion. May He bless you in your efforts to acknowledge and include Him more in your family life. Click here if you want more information on starting or strengthening your individual prayer journey.
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