What is it like saying goodbye to your son for two years as he heads on a mission?
It is hard to describe and as you can imagine, super emotional. I don’t think you can understand the full depth of what it’s like until you’ve actually gone through it. Yesterday we said goodbye to our oldest who won’t return home for two years. And it was tough! We did all the final things leading up to it – family pictures, our last family dinner, our last family night, our final family trip, a final family prayer kneeling together in our home, etc. We prepared his things meticulously and with love. He was feeling so excited and ready to go (which made it a little easier) but watching him walk away and knowing he won’t be back for two years was just awful. But even in our great sadness, we know this is what he wants and what the Lord wants.
It was particularly hard watching our younger kids say goodbye to him. A wise friend told me, “When … our first missionary left, our whole family cried at the airport like he was dying. It was the most heart wrenching thing! It was that morning I realized why people talk about missionary blessings. I knew with certainty they [blessings] would come because no loving Father in Heaven could watch the sacrifice of those siblings and not pour out blessings.” We will miss him terribly but are grateful he wanted to serve and has the opportunity to do so. We look forward to hearing about his experiences and seeing the hand of the Lord more openly in his life, in ours, and in the lives of those he will serve.
What is a mission?
A mission is an opportunity for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to dedicate themselves full-time as a volunteer to proselytize and serve in the name of Jesus Christ. Typically, young men and women serve in their late teens (after high school graduation) or early twenties. Older members of the church may also serve full-time or part-time with proselytizing, humanitarian assistance or other service.
Sometimes this is confused with a “mission trip” where groups from local churches go to serve in an organized community service effort or humanitarian cause in a different country for a few weeks or months but this is quite different than that. Missionaries do spend time doing community service on a weekly basis but they spend the bulk of their time teaching others about Jesus Christ and helping to strengthen local congregations in their faith. They do not go with friends or family but are called and ordained as servants of the Lord.
Do you have to go on a mission?
No, you do not. It is a privilege and the opportunity of a lifetime but serving a mission is totally voluntary. Young men are expected and asked to serve and young women are welcomed, if they want to, but it is a personal decision and your decision to serve has no bearing on your church membership or standing.
Do missionaries change their name when they leave? Their tags all say Elder.
No, the missionaries do not change their name and the term “Elder” is a title. All male missionaries are known as “Elders”, and “Sister” is the title for female missionaries. So, our son will be Elder Gifford while he is out.
Why missions?
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we love and follow the Savior. It is through coming to Him that we can have true joy and happiness. As a missionary, our son will be able to teach about Christ and invite others to come until Him and fulfill the commandment the Savior gave at the end of his time with his disciples.
“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost” – Matthew 28:19
How long will he be gone?
Young men (“Elders”) are called to serve for 2 years and young women (“Sister”) who serve are called for a year and a half (18 months). Their training time is included in that amount. We will not go visit him during his mission but will video chat with him often and send emails and messages. Thank goodness for technology!
Who pays for a mission?
Typically the missionary and/or their family pays for a mission. We decided years ago that we would pay half the amount and our son would pay the other half. He worked hard to earn and save that amount as well as build up his college savings over the last several years.
How do you choose where they go?
Thankfully, we don’t choose where the missionary goes, the Lord does. As a prospective missionary, you submit an application which includes health information, personal information and a statement about why you want to serve. You complete appointments with health professionals and your local faith leaders who help you prepare and know what to expect. You also include the day you are available to start as a full-time missionary.
Your application is then processed and an Apostle, through revelation, assigns you to one of the 411 missions worldwide. When my son prepared his papers, he knew his missionary assignment (commonly called a “mission call”) could be anywhere from Kentucky to Kenya. If you’re interested in knowing what that process is like, you can listen to this talk describing it (start listening at about 3:53).
Why aren’t you calling him a Mormon missionary?
“Mormon” and “Mormon missionary” are nicknames based on our belief in The Book of Mormon but the official name of our church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. By using the nickname of “Mormon”, it leaves out the most central part of our beliefs – Jesus Christ.
Why is he going?
This is a great question and I’ll answer in his words. He spoke in church a couple weeks before he left and here is what he shared:
“The most important question is why am I serving?
- It’s because I believe the Church is true and the young men of the church have been asked to go and serve missions.
- Because I’ve read the Book of Mormon and every time I read it, I feel God’s love for me
- Because families that get sealed in the temple are together forever and I can’t imagine Heaven without my family
- Because Joseph Smith was a true prophet
- Because when I pray, I feel God speaking to me
- Because I want to show my devotion to God by sacrificing my time and my money”
How are you (as in me) okay with him going?
No one has actually asked me this question, but if I wasn’t me, I would be dying to hear the answer. 😉
The missionary program of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is incredibly organized and inspired. My son started his missionary service last week with his online training, then yesterday he left to head to a missionary training center in Mexico City where he’ll be in intensive Spanish classes and more missionary training with the same teachers and peers he met online last week. When he arrives in his assigned mission, he’ll be paired with an experienced companion who will continue to teach and mentor him. Each mission has a Mission President who, with his wife, serves full-time to watch over, teach, organize and lead the missionaries.
I have watched my brothers serve missions and seen the wonderful experiences they have had. My husband speaks of his missionary experience as one of the greatest foundational experiences of his life. I feel at peace knowing God loves us and expects us to do hard things for His cause and as we do these things, we are richly blessed. I have so much joy in my faith in Jesus Christ and I am willing to allow (and even encourage) my son to leave on this journey so that others may receive that same joy and faith.
This is not an official site of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, just some of my personal views on missions and missionaries. For official communication and more about missionaries, go to https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/belong/share-goodness/who-are-the-missionaries
Thank you Shelly for sharing this complex set of emotions. Thank you for being diligent in your efforts to prepare your dear son for his service to the Lord. Thank you for your sacrifice and for being an example of joyful giving ṭo your son throughout his life. Thank you for your example to other parents of eligible youth. I’ll be praying for your son’s safety and success
Thank you so much! It is has definitely been a journey to prepare him and we have not done it alone. His decision to serve and being ready to leave was influenced by so many friends, family, leaders, teachers and others who have all played a part. Thanks goodness we are on this journey of life together. We appreciate your prayers.
I love this! So much great information. Thanks for sharing. 💛
Thank you! With all the questions we’ve received about his mission and opportunity to serve, I thought it might be helpful to post some of those same questions with answers online for others to read.